When Life Happens...

WHEN LIFE HAPPENS...

I don't know why I am writing this but I hope it blesses someone. Over the past few weeks I have been battling with being depressed getting back up again, being embarrassed, pulling myself together again; remembering the past trying to erase things from my mind again and again. But, few days ago, after listening to my pastor preach in church, I decided to study the new Testament of the Bible extensively and intentionally too. I started and I'm now at the part where Jesus taught the BEATITUDES. I had actually read that chapter and was ready to move on to the next but something pulled me back to the 9 Beatitudes. So I decided to stay on it. I took it 2 a day and did a study on on it.

I don't want to bore you with my study but one of the major lessons I have learnt from this study and from trying to practice what I have learnt this week is that when life happens to you, you let it go. Now, I am not saying you should give up or die but you need to set what ever it is free because the truth is you are actually setting your self free.

For me, as a single lady I was okay. I did good in my career, I had side businesses that brought in money, I had successful friends around. I had love, I had a 'sound' relationship with God and all the good you can think of. So, When I got married , I entered into the marriage with the mind set of bliss forever. Forgetting that, life will sure happen. In my case, it started early. The first thing that happened was that my husband lost his job a week after our marriage. I thought to myself, the devil is just trying, my husband will get a job soon. The next that happened was that I got pregnant despite the fact that we planned not to have a baby until after 6 months. And remember, I was the only one working. Now, I should mention that there were pressures from my In-laws too. And, because of the kind of person I am, I couldn't talk to anyone about what I was facing. I cried everyday and I am not exaggerating I cried everyday.My husband and I started having issues that at the end I never could explain why. All I knew was it always starts with a simple conversation and then grows into an argument and then blows up.

What in God's name is happening to me! I asked this question everyday with no answer. it kept getting worse. I got to a state where I could not do my devotion (having a personal time meditating and communing with God). I was just numb. And, when I say numb, I really got to a state where I got used to pain, crying, thinking, even while pregnant. I was confused!

But, after I gave birth, I told God, "I want my son to know the best of You". So, I started studying again, I opened up to my mum, a bit though. I love talking to God more. Though I still falter, but I make conscious effort to get back up again. Though, I still have issues with my husband but I can boldly say that those hot issues have reduced a lot!

Now, back to LETTING GO. You must understand that Life will definitely happen to you and holding on to what ever happens to is just a waste of time you must consciously learn to let go of life itself and this is what I have learnt from the Beatitudes. It is a lesson of releasing everything to be able to get back everything that is best. Let the pain go, let the fight go, let those friends go, let go of everything and let your focus be on you. However, you cannot focus on yourself because you are weak, weak in every sense of it. So you need to get help from someone stronger. And, for me I always run back to God.

If you are reading this and you are at that state where you can't push again, you are just TIRED! I want you to know that JESUS CHRIST went through worse and he came out. Now, he did not just choose to, he did it for you. I have gone through hell myself, but I can write this to you because God has given me himself in  JESUS CHRIST. I have him to always run to for strength, for cover, for help. 

Run to Him now and he will receive you.